Thursdays in the Truth: and the two became one...

I absolutely love romantic comedies!  I love them more than macho action-adventure, or sappy dramas or thoughtful foreign films.  I suppose I’m like the stereotypical girl.  I love to see the people who are perfectly imperfect realize they were in love the whole time.  I’ve watched, and memorized, more than I can count.  My obsession probably began with Sixteen Candles.  Since then, I have fallen in love with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail.  Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore were so cute in 50 First Dates and they made me laugh in The Wedding Singer.  I was super excited to see their new movie Blended.  If you haven’t seen it, don’t worry, I won’t spoil the ending. 

In this movie, both Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore play single parents with very different home lives. We meet them on a horrible first date and then follow them on a crazy family vacation to an African resort.  Hilarity ensues.  Let me first say that I loved this movie.  It totally fit the description of a romantic comedy.  However, I was struck by something the two main characters said to each other.  One of them said you have to give your kids 100% of yourself.  The other responded that you actually give them 99% and save that 1% for yourself.  I know they are both single and their situation looks different than mine but it got me thinking.

I thought about my life.  I don’t give my kids 100% of myself and I’m not ashamed.  When my kids ask who my favorite is, I always tell them daddy is my favorite.  And I believe that is the way God intended it.  God first, spouse second, kids third.  My kids know I love them beyond their comprehension, but I love daddy first. 

See, in Genesis, in the creation story, woman was made from a piece of man.  This is not a case of God “upcycling.”  It was very intentional.  God is never random, but always thoughtful.  He planned this to be a symbol for marriage. 

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”   Genesis 2:24

One flesh!  Physically we are obviously separate and not conjoined twins or anything.  I chose my husband to be my partner till death do us part.  My children were a gift from God that came from my body, but they will ultimately leave us to make their own families. My husband and I work as a team always, or at least we try.  In a way, I suppose the kids get more than 100% because they have parents who are partners and love each other very much.  When you have a team backing you instead of just one person, you feel stronger.  Whether you have that partner now or you are waiting for the one God is preparing for you, I think it is important for all kids to see an example of that kind of love.

Thursdays in the Truth: Summer time= Busy time

I don't know about you, but summer is my busiest time of year. When April hits, I get so excited for summer break. I think "I'll get my kids full time and our schedules will be more flexible. This is going to be awesome!!!"  

It's like I have summer memory loss and I forget from year to year how busy we get. Summer hits and I find myself on the go more than I was before summer started. Work always picks up in the summer and it seems like I'm running from activity to activity, from appointment to appointment.

When life gets busy, I put myself on the backburner. I continue to volunteer for everything and say "yes" to everyone. I'm the Martha of Mary and Martha (that's a whole other blog post).

I've been "busy" for over 3 months now, and it's been even worse since school ended. Bible study also ends when school ends, so I find myself not taking time to dive into scripture as much as I did during the school year.

I'm not in the best health either. I'm not sleeping well, I'm tired, and eating like crap. I am so busy that I'm not taking care of myself, which got me thinking about Jesus and how he took time to care for himself. Here are two instances I was reminded of:

Luke 5:15-16 (NIV) tells us about Jesus and what he did for himself:

15 Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. 16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Jesus took time for himself to withdraw and pray. This is time he could have been preaching, teaching his disciples, or healing. Yet Jesus knew how important taking time for himself was.

Another example is in Mark 3:7-12:

7-10 Jesus went off with his disciples to the sea to get away. But a huge crowd from Galilee trailed after them—also from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, across the Jordan, and around Tyre and Sidon—swarms of people who had heard the reports and had come to see for themselves. He told his disciples to get a boat ready so he wouldn’t be trampled by the crowd. He had healed many people, and now everyone who had something wrong was pushing and shoving to get near and touch him.

11-12 Evil spirits, when they recognized him, fell down and cried out, “You are the Son of God!” But Jesus would have none of it. He shut them up, forbidding them to identify him in public.

Here it is very apparent. A crowd of people was gathering as Jesus was heading off to "get away." It said this crowd had people with things wrong with them. Jesus saw them and knew that, and yet still withdrew. He didn't finish healing and then go. He left immediately. He knew he had to take care of himself.

Another thing that comes to mind goes back to my last post about God's greatest commandment. I wrote last month that when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandments were he replied love God and love your neighbor.

Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Here's the thing that strikes me.  Jesus says "love your neighbor AS yourself." Jesus wants us to love ourselves too. The phrase "as yourself" implies that we are to love ourselves!  He wants us to take care of ourselves so we can be good for God and others. If I'm not taking care of myself, how can I be fit to take care and fulfill the needs of others?

So ladies, today, please take some time for yourselves. Take care of yourself- mentally, physically, and spiritually. Get away, pray, have quiet time, read your bible, exercise, eat a healthy meal. I'm going to make myself more of a priority, so I can be good for others. Jesus did it, and so should we.

-Andi

Thursday's in the Truth: Immeasurable More

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

What if we really believed this verse?  What if we believed that we serve a God who is able?  I talk with women all the time and constantly hear disbelief and uncertainty as they talk about what is happening in their life.  This world is tough and we all deal with crazy things, but we serve a God who is able.  We serve a God who is bigger than our past mistakes, our fears, our failures, our pains and our futures.  We, as women, allow ourselves to believe the lies of the devil daily.  We believe we will never get out of our current situations.  We believe our past will define our future, we believe we are trapped. 

It’s not true!  God is ABLE.  And not just able, He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.  Do you even wonder what we miss out on because we ask for the little things?  We don’t believe God could possibly to the immeasurable, so we stick with the safe option; the easier choice that we feel is attainable, that we can wrap our minds around.  We put God in a box instead of believing HE is ABLE. 

This verse has become my life verse.  I don’t want to miss out on all the good God has for me, because I don’t understand how it will all work out.  I want to seek God and ask for the BIG dreams, not just the obtainable ones that compute with my little brain. 

What situations are you in currently where you feel trapped, where you do not see an end in sight, where you have no idea how anything is going to turn out?  What do you need to be asking God for AND BELIEVING?  Where situation do you need God to show up big time in?  Are you asking?  Are you believing?

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, 

the door will be opened.  Matthew 7:7-8

Thursday's in the Truth- Parenting: P stands for Prayer

The Oxford American Dictionary defines the term parent ( in its noun form ) as a father or mother; an ancestor from which younger ones are derived. Now-a-days, there are hundreds upon hundreds of books, apps, websites, etc. that market to the mirage that parenting can be acquired by reading something just published to a best sellers list. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. There is nothing wrong with desiring knowledge or the latest “how to’s” when it comes to raising kids. I have indulged in a few parenting books myself over the years, but apparently I missed the chapter that explains what to do when your child has gone rogue. It seems nobody really ever writes about that. You can choose to search endlessly through the empty pages of the newest series edition, or you can find the answers you so desperately seek in the ONE book you will ever NEED to get you through…….God’s word.  

The past thirteen and a half years as a parent myself has brought unspeakable amounts of joy, tailored with heart wrenching anguish and disappointment. Hands down, being a parent is the most difficult and challenging job, and here’s the kicker…….it will never be perfected so stop beating yourself up. My husband and I have faced things we never could have imagined with both of our kids and have wasted so much energy on trying to figure out where “we” went wrong. Let me explain something friends; you could harbor the best of intentions, raise your children in a Christ centered home, exhibit moral character and the up most integrity yet, it’s not something you can force upon your children. Parents should not be defined by how their kids turn out, nor should children be labeled by the upbringing of their parents. It’s a choice issue. You see, that’s the beauty of free will.

It was just a few months ago that God reminded me I am not in control, He is. Our children are only on loan to us, and some battles are just not ours to fight. God makes no mistakes, and each one of us is precious to Him. I constantly have to remind myself of that when confronted with teenage adversity. My oldest is outspoken, stubborn and strong-willed ( I can’t imagine where he gets that from ) yet, he is also sensitive, caring and shows great concern for humanity. Those are the qualities I use to draw upon his canvas. As parents, we can’t change who our kids are; but we can parent according to the way God calls us to by planting His seeds. What comes from that is completely out of our hands. Remember, His purpose, His plan.

One of the most difficult concepts that I have experienced is allowing for your child to hit rock bottom. Tough love is the greatest love of all. I can appreciate that now as a parent, but I remember hating mine for it as a child. My parents and I joke and laugh about the things I put them through as a teen myself, but there was nothing funny about it at the time. I was B.A.D with a capital B! It was my way; my terms and quite frankly I didn’t care what they ever had to say about it. My life choices left me addicted to things of this world and a mother by the age of 18. And you know what……I wouldn’t go back to change one single thing. Who I was then catapulted me into who I am today. The same goes for our own children. The choices they make are their own. We can only pray they allow for His guidance along the way. However, don’t fool yourself into thinking that your kids would “never” do something, because let’s face it; this world is consumed by evil. The battle they may be fighting could be a spiritual one and that is solely between them and God. I constantly remind my kids that I can’t save them. They will need to decide to choose Jesus on their own; but I do take responsibility for making sure I set the example for them to follow.

The greatest weapon we have as parents is prayer. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pray for both of my kids one way or another. Whether it’s prayer to find the motivation they need to get through the day, prayer to be a light in someone else’s eyes, prayer to make the right call, and even prayer to learn the lessons from the bad ones; there is so much power in prayer.  Don’t allow the enemy to rob you of that.  I want to encourage each and every one of you to meditate on the following psalms written by David. Our God is all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful, and everywhere present. When you find yourself battling the parenting blues and feel as though no one understands……rest assured there is ONE who does. When you feel like giving up, reflect on the fact that God never gives up on us. After all, He sent down His one and only son to die for our sins. There is no greater parent than Him.

Psalm 139: 13-18

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me!”