The Oxford American Dictionary defines the term parent ( in
its noun form ) as a father or mother; an ancestor from which younger ones are
derived. Now-a-days, there are hundreds upon hundreds of books, apps, websites,
etc. that market to the mirage that parenting can be acquired by reading
something just published to a best sellers list. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. There is nothing wrong with
desiring knowledge or the latest “how to’s” when it comes to raising kids. I
have indulged in a few parenting books myself over the years, but apparently I
missed the chapter that explains what to do when your child has gone rogue. It seems nobody really ever writes about that. You can choose to search endlessly through the empty pages of the newest series edition, or you can find the answers you so desperately seek in the ONE book you
will ever NEED to get you through…….God’s word.
The past thirteen and a half years as a parent myself has
brought unspeakable amounts of joy, tailored with heart wrenching anguish and
disappointment. Hands down, being a parent is the most difficult and
challenging job, and here’s the kicker…….it will never be perfected so stop
beating yourself up. My husband and I have faced things we never could have imagined with both of our kids and have wasted so much energy on trying to figure out where “we” went
wrong. Let me explain something friends; you could harbor the best of
intentions, raise your children in a Christ centered home, exhibit moral
character and the up most integrity yet, it’s not something you can force upon
your children. Parents should not be defined by how their kids turn out, nor
should children be labeled by the upbringing of their parents. It’s a choice
issue. You see, that’s the beauty of free will.
It was just a few months ago that God reminded me I am not
in control, He is. Our children are only on loan to us, and some battles are just
not ours to fight. God makes no mistakes, and each one of us is precious to
Him. I constantly have to remind myself of that when confronted with teenage adversity. My oldest is outspoken, stubborn and
strong-willed ( I can’t imagine where he gets that from ) yet, he is also
sensitive, caring and shows great concern for humanity. Those are the qualities
I use to draw upon his canvas. As parents, we can’t change who our kids are; but we
can parent according to the way God calls us to by planting His seeds. What
comes from that is completely out of our hands. Remember, His purpose, His
plan.
One of the most difficult concepts that I have experienced
is allowing for your child to hit rock bottom. Tough love is the greatest love
of all. I can appreciate that now as a parent, but I remember hating mine for
it as a child. My parents and I joke and laugh about the things I put them
through as a teen myself, but there was nothing funny about it at the time. I
was B.A.D with a capital B! It was my way; my terms and quite frankly I didn’t
care what they ever had to say about it. My life choices left me addicted to
things of this world and a mother by the age of 18. And you know what……I
wouldn’t go back to change one single thing. Who I was then catapulted me into
who I am today. The same goes for our own children. The choices they make are
their own. We can only pray they allow for His guidance along the way. However,
don’t fool yourself into thinking that your kids would “never” do something,
because let’s face it; this world is consumed by evil. The battle they may be
fighting could be a spiritual one and that is solely between them and God. I
constantly remind my kids that I can’t save them. They will need to decide to
choose Jesus on their own; but I do take responsibility for making sure I set
the example for them to follow.
The greatest weapon we have as parents is prayer. There
isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pray for both of my kids one way or
another. Whether it’s prayer to find the motivation they need to get through
the day, prayer to be a light in someone else’s eyes, prayer to make the right
call, and even prayer to learn the lessons from the bad ones; there is so much
power in prayer. Don’t allow the enemy
to rob you of that. I want to encourage
each and every one of you to meditate on the following psalms written by David.
Our God is all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful, and everywhere present. When
you find yourself battling the parenting blues and feel as though no one
understands……rest assured there is ONE who does. When you feel like giving up,
reflect on the fact that God never gives up on us. After all, He sent down His
one and only son to die for our sins. There is no greater parent than Him.
Psalm 139: 13-18
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together
in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your
workmanship is marvelous-and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being
formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You
saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every
moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your
thoughts about me O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they
outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still
with me!”
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